The following is a most interesting guest blog. It’s a rant against what passes for celebrity culture by a close long-time friend of mine due to several of them ignoring a letter he wrote and sent to several of them asking for a donate to help him fund… well, um, a most unusual personal request, to say the least. With me being me, I couldn’t help interjecting at various points in my friend’s jeremiad to spice up the entertainment value with my own inimitable observations, and my comments will appear within brackets. I’ll also follow my friend’s diatribe with a bit of my own commentary.
Please note that my friend chose not to put his name to this blog for a rather outlandish reason that he explains in full within the text. The request made by my friend to these celebrities is nothing less than dead serious, btw! So read on, consider the wisdom of my friend’s words, marvel at the amazing audacity of his celebrity request that prompted this tirade, and enjoy!
Comments upon Society, a.k.a., All Celebrities and Sources of Foolish Preoccupation: Go Away.
Guest Written by No One You’ve Ever Heard of or Would Want to Know
Alright, let me start by saying I am not some anti-social lunatic who stays in the house constantly and who has nothing better to do with his time then go on the Internet all day. I have a life which includes a job, friends, and long-term goals. I am currently working on my Doctoral program in the city where I live. I am avoiding disclosing details about myself — including my name — because I intend on publishing my comments for the Internet at large to read, and the last thing I want is for other people who may disagree with me enough to do something drastic to be able to find me. [I guess my friend believes that anyone who disagrees with him may also have nothing better to do with their time than track him down and seek retribution upon him for daring to criticism some celebrities; after all, since when do celebrities ever have to tolerate online criticism, right, bro?]
Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, I also want to say that my comments are not intended to be hurtful to one specific individual, but rather as a critique on society as a mechanism and its fascination with superficial and vapid people who are more concerned with their fame and status than contributing to society. I have always been taught that a person should mind their own business, be a good soul by following personal hygiene and decorum, give to others in need if at all possible, and treat each other fairly [I guess you’re on my bud’s shit list if you don’t sufficiently clean your ear wax or date someone of the “wrong” age or color… I kid, bro, I kid! 😉 ].
Apparently, these concepts are lost on someone like Justin Bieber, who mistreats those around him and feels it’s appropriate to urinate in public as a demonstration of his superiority over others. The same thing can be said for Paris Hilton, who fails to wear undergarments in public, and henceforth we are graced with the now famous crotch shot of her getting out of her Mercedes [I will confess here, as I always have, that I love Paris Hilton, though shame on her for failing to wear undies in public and offending the sensibilities of my heterosexual male bro who had to endure the horror of seeing her bare vagina].
Of course, she did this on purpose strictly as a publicity stunt [Curse you for showing off your unmentionables, Paris!]. After all, what civilized and half way intelligent person would forget to put on underwear before leaving the house? [I thought it was established that she didn’t forget, but left them off on purpose, bro?] Similarly, Kim Kardashian turned her wedding into a disgustingly overdone spectacle strictly for publicity value. Many people get married each year in every part of the world without the metaphorical fireworks that she put on.
I find it equally disturbing to consider the amount of time and effort that is consumed by the trivial nonsense of celebrity polls, best dressed, news from the red carpet, and on & on it goes. It’s all just filler for a population who seems more interested in escapism rather than developing their intelligence as a collective group to help advance the human race, and more is the pity. [I agree with you wholeheartedly on this one, bro.]
The truth is that these celebrities, these symbols in whom the people invest so much trust and aspire to be like, are nothing more than opportunistic, self-involved jackasses who are interested in protecting their own power, and will only do something for another person when it serves their interest [Sounds like the vast majority of bosses and managers any of us have ever had, huh?]. Or, more specifically, when it has sufficient publicity value. [Ditto.]
To prove this point, I contacted a handful of celebrities such as Oprah Winfrey, Angelina Jolie, Paris Hilton, and others and asked them to help me in financing the hiring of a surrogate egg donor and so on, as I want a child of my own. However, my romantic relationships have been far and few between and lets face it, after some of the outright weird shit celebrities have funded over the years, is what I am asking so outside the realm of possibility? [As much as I’m no fan whatsoever of Oprah and her victimology-mongering, and not overly thrilled with the admittedly vapid Angelina–though a huge fan of the amazing and free-spirited Paris Hilton! Boo-yahh!—I must say in defense of all three that they likely thought your request was a prank, bro… you took a while to convince me of the sincerity of this request, and I’m a guy who has known you a long time and is used to having friends who rival my own level of quirkiness!]
My request was ignored by each celebrity I contacted, of course. All of these people have more money than they could ever use for their own personal needs. Indeed, they have so much of it that they can splurge on things they don’t truly need. The amount required for a surrogacy is about $100,000 in the United States. This sum would be nothing to this class of people and would mean so much and fulfil a dream that would otherwise be out of reach for someone of modest means such as myself. But, it just goes to show that once again, as far as I’m concerned, the class divisions once again hold sway. Some people are denied even the most basic necessities and looked down upon because of their personal economics and in many cases these sorts of things are beyond their control. [I totally hear you on this one, bro.]
So, that’s my opinion: celebrities serve no relevance in society accept to demonstrate the human race’s preoccupation with superficial and narrow-minded concepts. [Personally, I feel that entertainers of all stripes most def have a purpose in society, bro, but I sympathize with your complaints that their obscene wealth and the extravagant indulgences and excesses they are able to partake in as a result diverts a disproportionate amount of public and media attention to the spectacle that their lives become over and above pressing issues and the plight of the average member of the 99%, whom most of the fan base belong to. Yes, part of the labor classes need for the modern equivalent of bread and circuses.]. They do what it takes to promote themselves and build a popular image but helping others in ways that will be personally significant is not something they are interested in because it has no benefit to them with regard to public image.
Hey, it’s Chris again! Some of you may be asking if I was making fun of my friend’s bold request with some of my bracketed comments. Well, how could I not, consider the nature of his request and how he went about trying to acquire the financing for his dream? And also, as much as I have always respected my friend’s boldness—and requests do not get much bolder than this—he still didn’t have the stones to put his name to it. As for his stated reason: Come on now, if he was truly in danger of being tracked down by irate fans or the celebrities themselves for making derogatory remarks about famous people, well, then they would have so many millions of other “haters” to hunt down that it would be at least 50 years before they got to his name on the list anyway. So, let him take his lumps from me, I say; I’m bettering they were much kinder than what some of you peeps were thinking or saying 😛
Nevertheless, I did give him an outlet for his words, as per his request, and made no alterations to his text other than the usual corrections in grammar. And yes, he’s known me more than long enough to be fully aware that his words would come with the price of my two cents for being presented on my blog.
Now in regards to financing, since the celebrity request track turned out to be a bust (insert Dolly Parton innuendos of choice here) should my bro perhaps start a donation fund on Kickstarter or GoFundMe to enable him to finance a surrogate mother to carry his dream child? If he decides to go that route, you can bet whatever your life savings may be worth that I’m going to promote it heavily here! How many other blog owners get to officially promote something as wondrously off the wall as that?