Think of Rossini’s “William Tell Overture” as you watch Brian’s sperm go marching on towards their future surrogate ovum! (How was that for inspiration? Woohoo!)
Isn’t it really freakin’ cool when you get to advertise something on your blog that is so unusual that you can scarcely believe it’s actually real? Or when you have friends who are unique enough in their life goals that they actually provide the opportunity for you to enliven your blog with such an advocacy? Well, this is one of those blogs, and my longtime bud Brian Rebmann (that’s two n’s, people!) is one of those friends!
Now granted, it’s not unusual in any way to hire a surrogate mom to provide the ovum and gestating womb for your child. But… how often does a single man start a private funding campaign to raise the cash to afford a surrogate mom? Yes, you read that right! I’m telling you, say what you want about my friend Brian (chances are you won’t be the first!), but to use a popular expression, he has more balls (apropos pun fully intended!) than most of the rest of us guys will ever display (the majority of us have only two, I presume! Yes, that’s all!), either in private or during a “lower selfie” sexted to our significant other over our cell phone. He deserves credit for that. Whether or not he actually deserves donations on top of that kahuna credit, however, will ultimately be up to everyone who sees his GoFundMe campaign to decide.
I ask everyone who can spare a bit of cash to donate, just as I have. Hey, I wouldn’t ask for any such thing on his behalf if I wasn’t willing to take the plunge (so to speak) myself! If you need further convincing, and chances are you do, then please take the miniscule amount of time required to watch this less-than-2-minute clip from a classic episode of The Brady Bunch. This is the ep where Peter Brady’s brothers convince him to dress up as one of the Sunflower Girls (think Westdale’s answer to the Girl Scouts) and go door to door selling their personal brand cookies. Recall the incredulity expressed by the man who answered the door when Peter puts his neck out to get this guy as a customer, as this feeling is quite possibly now being expressed by you as my bud Brian asks for a similar allotment of loot. Remember what happened at the end of that scene? Is it really a spoiler if I mention it due to the fact that you likely didn’t bother to click on the above hot link and watch the clip? (I mean, despite how many decades ago that show was on the air, it’s never been out of syndication since, so you are equally likely not to have needed the refresher in the first place!)
Okay, here’s the spoiler: The incredulous dude, once it became clear to him that Peter wasn’t putting him on, bought a box of cookies from him despite his admission that he hated cookies* out of admiration for Peter’s nerve! Let’s face it, doing what Peter did during the early 1970s, when homophobia was actually popular and considered a legitimate American pastime, took about as much balls as what my friend Brian is doing now. He’s putting himself out there to achieve a dream, and asking for the largesse of the public to help with that (and hell, all Peter was trying to do was show up his sister Marsha because he and his brothers had a sexist dislike of her determination to prove what girls are capable of by joining Greg’s cub scout group). Celebrities may have turned down Brian’s request for a donation, but because he’s now put his name and face out in the public (and yes, I did try to discourage him from using a pic where he looks like he’s sitting on the porcelain throne and attempting to force out a load, but he ignored my concern, so don’t blame me for that!), I think we should give him all due consideration to his fund for this. Which is why I am proud to be the first donor 😉
[* Dude hated all cookies? It’s not like there aren’t a gazillion different varieties out there! Ah well, I understand he had to make that statement in order for the laugh behind scene to have its full effect… I wonder if that was one of the unrealistic things in the scripts that Robert Reed raised hell with Sherwood Schwartz about behind the scenes.]
So go check out his fund (here’s the link again in case you’re too lazy to scroll back up!), consider all of the above, remind yourself if need be that what you’re reading is a totally legit fund, note that you heard about it here first (plug, plug, and another shameless plug!), and strongly consider donating! My homie Brian may very well be the official Sunflower Girl equivalent of his generation! And since homophobia is thankfully no longer in vogue, I can use such a comparative pop cultural analogy without besmirching his solid manly image in any way! W00t W00t!